The Michigander Winter Advisory

THE MICHIGANDER WINTER ADVISORY
60° F:
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. Michiganders sunbathe.
50° F:
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Michiganders plant gardens.
40° F:
Italian & English cars won't start. Michiganders drive with the windows down.
32° F:
Distilled water freezes. Great Lake's water gets thicker.
20° F:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. Michiganders throw on a flannel
shirt.
15° F:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Michiganders have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0° F:
All the people in Miami die. Michiganders close the windows.
10° below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
25° below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates. Michiganders get out their winter parkas.
40° below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. Michiganders let the dogs sleep indoors.
100° below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Michiganders get frustrated because they can't start their cars.
460° below zero:
All atomic
motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). Michiganders start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"
500° below zero:
Hell freezes over. The Lions win the Super Bowl.