New Stock Market Terms

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
----> CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
----> CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
----> BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
----> BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband
gets no sex.
----> VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
----> P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
----> BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
----> STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
----> STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
----> STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
----> FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
----> MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
----> CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

----> YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
----> WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
----> INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
----> PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use