Classic Definitions And Cool Meanings

CLASSIC DEFINITIONS AND COOL MEANINGS
---> Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
---> Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
---> Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
---> Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
---> Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
--->
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .
---> Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
---> Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
---> Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
---> Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
---> Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
---> Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
---> Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
---> Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
---> Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
---> Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
---> Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
---> Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
---> Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
---> Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
---> Father : A banker provided by nature.
---> Criminal: A guy/or girl no different from the rest... except that he/or he got caught.
---> Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
---> Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
---> Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
---> Computer Engineer: Someone who gets paid for reading these type of mails.