Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
----> DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
----> OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken
a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens
----> GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here and Dick Cheney has given me permission to say so.
----> COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road, but definitely we're not sure if it's "THE" chicken but we're nearly certain it may be, possibly, almost perhaps, in any way in accordance by any chance it's nearly possible and I almost stand behind this.
----> PERVEZ MUSHARRAF
I believe it crossed to join Akbar Bugti to blow the gas
pipelines.
----> HAMID KARZAI
Yes the chicken crossed to join fight against NATO forces.
----> HANS BLIX:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
----> JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it until I change my mind again.
----> PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
----> MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at
the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
----> DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
----> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
----> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
----> GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
----> BARBARA
WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
----> JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
----> ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
----> SIGMUND FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
----> BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ reboot.
----> ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
----> BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
----> AL GORE:
I invented the chicken the same time I invented the Internet!
----> COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
----> DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
----> AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
----> BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
----> JOHN McCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
----> HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......