Midlife For Women

MIDLIFE FOR WOMEN
* Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
* Midlife women no longer have upper arms; we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.
* Midlife has hit when you stand naked in front of the mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
* Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's more like splat!
* Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.
* The good news about midlife is the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news
is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.