ALUMNI AFFAIRS
After a somewhat enforced term of uniformed, government employment at a very unacceptable. but non negotiable, salary, I decided to persue a college degree to improve any future financial rewards available for the use my personal services.
After discharge from my Uncle Sam's care, It was apparent that he obviously felt some guilt over screwing me over for the previous few years and reluctanly agreed to help fund my matriculation at a local college of my choice.
I eventually graduated from the school, with luck and a definite degree of sacrafice. Trying to balance study, partying, many part time jobs, partying, standing in line trying to jusify my right to claim unemployment dollars as I could not find anyone looking to
hire a 50 caliber machine gun operator, plus my social service volunteer work, helping available nubile female students pass their human sexuality classes, and imbibing at parties, it was amazing that I even survived.
I really never felt any allegeance to the school itself. Once I was outta that particular pile of bricks, I harbored no particular desire to ever contribute to their latest fund drive, join any alumni associations or attend any athletic events. - But sure enough, a few years later, someone in the Alumni Affairs staff called my parents, and tracked down my current phone number and called.
"So, what have you been doing with yourself?" the perky alumnus inquired.
I responded, "Oh, not a lot. Just hot wiring and stealing cars for export, running a little moonshine on the side, when I'm not running a few hookers ."
Needless to say, I haven't heard from them
again.
