Immutable Laws

IMMUTABLE LAWS
* When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)
* A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)
* When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)
* Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)
* When things seem to be going well, you've probably forgotten to do something. (Cheney's second corollary)
* When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits
law)
* If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)
* Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)
* You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)
* Whenever one wants to connect with the internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)
* If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)
* The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of pi eyed)
* The probability that
one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop)
* Each and every body submerged in a bathtub will cause the phone to ring. (Law of ohmy gad)
* Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of ogolly gee!)"
* Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo.(The donking principle)
* After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of fatal irreversibility)
* Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent,and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. (Law of de lay)
* Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway." (Theory of absolute
certainty)