Quick One Liners

QUICK ONE LINERS
** Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
** Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
** A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
** A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
** A dyslexic man walks into a bra…
** A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
** "Doc, I can't stop
singing, 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
** Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
** An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
** Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.