The Nine Types Of Pussy

THE NINE TYPES OF PUSSY
1. SHORTCHANGED PUSSY – When the woman is extremely sexy and beautiful. She moves the right way and oozes sensuality. When it comes to sex, she has no clue. The very thought of stroking this Pussy can make you cum before it’s time. She talks a good game but cannot walk the talk. Kissing her is like watching a cartoon. When she tries to guide your dick into her Pussy, she cuts it with her nails. By the time you get another boner, her Pussy feels like sandpaper. By the time you get in, you find out that your dick to too big for her short Pussy. When you go to lick the Pussy you find out that it is a little tart and now you start thinking to yourself “how can such a fine woman be so feeble?” Undaunted, you decide
that you’re going to make the best of a bad situation and get your rocks off when she says, “don’t cum in me because I’m not taking anything.”
2. SWEET LIPS – This is substitute Pussy. She sucks major dick. She sucks it so good that your knees buckle. It was good enough to make you look for something to hold on to. She can suck the chrome off a car’s bumper. Then she slips your dick into her Pussy and you realize that her mouth was much better. You try to maneuver your dick back to her mouth any way you can. This time you find something to hold on to, her head, because you now know that her Pussy is really a kitten and not yet ready for prime time.
3. YES M’AM PUSSY – This is the kind of Pussy your mother warned you about. This Pussy is often misjudged because of the owner’s meek mannerisms. She is quiet, reserved, caters to your every whim and shows no inkling of the
treasure that lies between her thighs. She seems to be a scholarly type but not quite prudish. You think to yourself “imma tear this Pussy up” only to find out that she was only playing possum. You were so caught off guard that your whole fuck plan needed instant revision. She was your equal having as much game as you. You must give her her props realizing that you came within a bat’s eyelash of having your brains fucked out. Gentlemen, be wary of this Pussy and be prepared. Your best defense is a good offense and a long stiff thick dick with staying power.
4. THUNDER THIGHS (THE PUSSY YOU’RE GETTING FROM SOMEONE WHO IS NOT YOUR WOMAN) – Men who have cheated on their woman temporarily can say “AMEN” to this class of Pussy. Men, this is the class of Pussy that makes you cry and confess to your woman that you fucked someone else. The Thunder Thighs Pussy made you want to tell somebody.
Thunder Thighs Pussy is in a class of its own. Thunder Thighs Pussy will make you look and feel different about the Pussy you got at home. Thunder Thighs Pussy makes you burst several nuts (i.e multiple orgasms), makes you cry and you have no clue why. This Pussy is so intense, when it is wrapped around your dick or face, it sends you into a trance. She has a smooth, undulating motion, constantly asks you if you are comfortable. You started at 6pm and it’s now going on 9pm and she is not tired and her Pussy ain’t sloppy yet. She sucks on your dick as if she was a baby sucking on a pacifier, she savors it like you’re the main course meal. She sensuously flicks the head of your dick with her tongue like a lollipop. By now you’re in shock and forget about your woman. When you’re back with your woman you’re wondering why she can’t perform like Thunder Thighs Pussy. You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct her to
do what Thunder Thighs did to you.
5. THE STALKER – This is the Pussy that pisses you off the most. You see, the woman you boned for a fling or as a favor keeps coming back like a bad cold. If she has a bad day at work, she stalks your dick, if she has a bad meal she stalks your dick, if she has a bad hair day she stalks your dick. If she sees an ex, she stalks your dick. No matter what, she stalks your dick. It is easy to tell if the woman you’re with falls into this category. She always uses phrases like these when she is fucking you. “Don’t run from this Pussy.” Ain’t this some sweet Pussy?” “Talk to me daddy, I don’t hear you talking shit now” & finally “You like when you in this Pussy and whippin it”
6. TUNA PUSSY – This is the Pussy that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. You can recognize it easily because she may have cats swarming around her or
everybody at the local pub knows her name. When you walk into a room, you know she is there or was there. This is dangerous Pussy. The problem is that the babe is fine and you ain’t had no Pussy in a long while. The dog in you wants some Pussy. You know that this Pussy is experienced and could put a hurt on you in more ways than one. This is the Pussy you don’t want anyone to know you sampled. You DON’T EAT this Pussy. After you sample this Pussy, you immediately take a shower or at the very least scrub your dick in the sink with some disinfectant.
7. WATERING HOLE PUSSY – This is good convenient Pussy. Easy Pussy, Pussy you can call when your body needs a fix. She gives you major head like SWEET LIPS, and fucks you like THUNDER THIGHS PUSSY. Only thing is you don not have a woman so you’re not feeling guilty. Whenever you call, this Pussy is ready. Her Pussy craves your
dick. This Pussy is available in any place at anytime.
8. GODDDAMN PUSSY – Men, now this is Pussy that will definitely send you to hell if you’re not married to it. This Pussy is just like the YES M’AM & THUNDER THIGHS PUSSY. Her Pussy is snug, not too tight, and juicy. She can accommodate larger than average size dick. She has good control of her Pussy muscles which can make any size dick feel like at home. This Pussy makes you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While you are giving it to her doggy style or with you laying down and she sits on top of you, you look toward the heavens and say, GODDAMN THIS IS SOME GOOD PUSSY!!!
9. AMAZON PUSSY – Gentlemen, this is the gold mine Pussy. This Pussy is the Pussy that you commit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well-kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this Pussy.
When you get this Pussy, you go through convulsions. This is the Pussy that makes you READY even when you ain’t. You call in sick from work for it. This Pussy is so major it is YES M’AM PUSSY, WATERING HOLE PUSSY, THUNDER THIGHS PUSSY & GODDAMN PUSSY all in one. This is the Pussy that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it. This Pussy makes you shutter while speaking and has you nervous for no reason!!!!!!!!!!!