Stress Relievers

STRESS RELIEVERS!!!!!!!!
STRESS RELIEVER #1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?
STRESS RELIEVER #2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.
STRESS RELIEVER #3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
STRESS RELIEVER #4
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied Sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
STRESS RELIEVER #5
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
STRESS RELIEVER #6
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My Father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
STRESS RELIEVER #7
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
STRESS RELIEVER #8
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
STRESS RELIEVER #9
A wife asked her husband: What do you
like most in me - my pretty face or my beautiful figure?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.