The Year's Best Headlines Of 2006

THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006:
----> Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,
Expert Says No, really?
----> Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
----> Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Imagine that!
----> Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Whaaat??
----> Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
----> Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!
----> Juvenile Court
to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----> War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----> If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
You think?!
----> Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----> Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
----> Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----> Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge
----> New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
----> Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
----> Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Taste like chicken?
----> Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
----> Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is....
----> Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that sign right?