Little Funnies To Share

LITTLE FUNNIES TO SHARE
* To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.
* "Some guys call theirs Dick or Peter, John Thomas or Willie. What do you call yours?"
"I don't have to call mine anything, It usually comes without being called."
* What do you call a magazine that features pictures of orgasms?
Spurts Illustrated
* The photographer brought his attractive assistant into the dark room tosee what would develop.
* What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go Woo-Whoo!
* A
useless message in my in-box trumpeted, "Satisfy the girls with a bigger dick!" Hey, I wouldn't be caught dead with a girl with a dick, especially if it's bigger than mine.
* I had a staff sergeant who'd pick fights with his recruits just so he could lick his privates.
* What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
* After the flood, Noah sent the animals off the ark telling each couple to "go forth and multiply". Later, he came across two snakes. "I thought I told you to go forth and multiply." One of the snakes replied, "We're sorry but we can't. You see we're adders."
* The carpenters worked well together because they were on the same level.
* Horses have six legs because they have forelegs in front and two legs behind.
* The
violinist visited the doctor because he was high-strung.
* TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
* A lot of trees were dying, but they needed to figure out the root of the problem.
* If your nose runs and your feet smell, do you know what is the matter with you?
You are built upside down.