The Encyclopedia Of One Liners
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Monday, July 20, 2009
THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ONE LINERS
* Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* He who laughs last thinks slowest!
* Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
* I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
* Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
* Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose
your nursing home.
* Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
* Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
* The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
* Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
* Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
* Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
* All the women moaning about finding a husband have obviously never had one.
* Confucius Says...Credit is like sex...When you need it you can't get it!
