Insults In Aussie

INSULTS IN AUSSIE
* "I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders."
* "Not enough brains to giv! e 'imself a headache!"
* "About as useful as tits on a bull."
* "You must be the world's only living brain donor."
* "He's a few wanks short of an orgasm."
* "She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard."
* "He had a head on him like a sucked mango."
* "May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down."
* "He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."
* "So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell
rang!"
* "Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."
* "Pull your lip over your head and swallow!"
* "As ugly as a hat full of arseholes."
* "If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards."
* "Got a face like a bashed in shit can."
* "Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground."
* "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse."
* "Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist full of fifties."
* "About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition."
* "I'll kick your! bum till your nose bleeds!"
* "A stubbie short of a six pack." "Seen better heads in a piss trough."
* "You're as handy as shit on a stick." "Tighter
than a fish's arse."
* "So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him."
* "Face like a smashed crab."
* "As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."
* "He could talk a dog off a meatwagon."
* "F**ked in the head."
* "You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie."
* "He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door."
* "Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast."
* "Your face is like a twisted ugg boot."
* "He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle."
* "She's been hit with the ugly stick too many times."
* "She's two pick handles wide."
* "An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."
* "As ugly as a bag of
spanners."
* "You've got a head like a dropped pie."
* "He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him away."
* "I wish his dad had settled for a blow job."
* "Fell out of the ugly ! tree, and hit every branch on the way down."
* "Your the load your mother should have swallowed"
* "If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."
* "Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with an armful of deck chairs."
* "As thick as two short planks!"
* "You got a head like a busted watermelon"