Exercises To Prepare For Your Hospital Experience

EXCERCISES TO PREPARE FOR YOUR HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE
---> Lay nude on the front lawn and ask the weed man to probe you with his applicator.
---> Drink a quart of Sherwin-Williams Eggshell One-Coat Coverage Interior Flat White #2. Then have your child stuff his slinky down your throat.
---> Put a real estate agent's 'Open House' sign on your front yard and lie on your bed dressed in a paper napkin with straws stuck up your nose.
---> Put your hand down the garbage disposal while practicing your smile and repeating: "mild discomfort."
---> Set your alarm to go off every ten minutes from ten PM to seven AM, at which times you will alternately puncture your wrist with a Craftsman
(squarehead) screwdriver and stab yourself with a knitting needle.
---> Remove all actual food from the house.
---> With several strands of Christmas lights strung from a coat tree and onto yourself, walk slowly up and down the hall.