Good * Bad * Worse

GOOD * BAD * WORSE
---> Bad: You can't find your vibrator.
Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
---> Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.
---> Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.
---> Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.
---> Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.
Worse: As a sacrifice.
---> Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.
---> Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.
---> Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: To enter a convent.
---> Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.
---> Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your husband.
---> Good: The postman's early.
Bad:
He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.
---> Good: The secretary said "yes."
Bad: Your wife says "no."
---> Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually. Worse: He's gay.
---> Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: So did the postman.
---> Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: Your wife walks in.
---> Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
---> Good: You get tickets to the theatre.
Bad:
It's performance art.
---> Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.
---> Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
---> Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."
Bad: For real.
---> Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".
Bad: Your son, that is.
---> Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.
---> Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.
---> Good: Your son's doing extra credit work.
Bad: Making a sex ed video.
---> Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
Bad: It's counterfeit.
---> Good: Your wife bought a porn video.
Bad: Your daughter's the star.
---> Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.
---> Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.
---> Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With
the neighbors.
Worse: All of them.