Top 13 Achievements of Pope John Paul II

TOP 13 ACHIEVEMENTS of POPE JOHN PAUL II! 13. Inventing the Pope-mobile. 12. Sorta kinda appologizing on the Vatican's behalf for not doing more during that whole World War II/Holocaust thing. 11. Successfully blocking women from the levers of Church power for another two and a half decades. 10. Serving THREE HUNDRED and NINETEEN TIMES LONGER than his progressive, reform-minded predecessor, who died under mysterious circumstances. 9. Helping boost the global supply of ignorant poor people to unprecedented levels. 8. Bringing those lovable Opus Dei goofballs into the Catholic mainstream. 7. Providing Pope-a-like Eugene Greytak with a 26-year career. 6. Canonizing more Saints than any other Pope before him, including Saint Trini, patron of canned aerosol cheeze manufacturers. 5. Accumulating more 'frequent flyer' miles than all other previous Popes, combined. 4. Being simultaneously infallible and humble. 3. Nipping the Third World "liberation theology" movement in the bud, before it could do any real damage. 2.
Providing gainful employment and safe harbor to untold thousands of child rapists and boy-buggerers the world over. 1. DEAD already!