THE 25 AOL COMMANDMENTS
1. Thou shall love thy ISP with all thy heart and all thy bytes.
2. Thou shalt remember thy name and password.
3. Thou shalt only call an ISP two times a day.
4. Honour thy SysAdm and Webmaster.
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her.
6. Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or have no meaning.
7. Thou shalt use the English language properly.
8. Thou shalt spell thy words correctly whenever possible.
9. Thou shalt delete thine olden messages.
10. Thou shalt help other users.
11. Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism.
12. Thou shalt keep thy foul language to thyself.
13. Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash thy ISP, for he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of thy hobby and must repent by doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications.
14. Thou shalt not post spam.
15. Thou shalt not post messages while drunk.
16. Thou shalt confine thy messages to those of friendship, requests for assistance, aid to the needy, advice, and advancement of thy hobby; and thou art obligated to repel any who wouldst transgress upon those commandments.
17. If thou doth promise to reply to a message and thou doth not, then surely thou shalt spill coffee into thy key-board and burn out thy central processing chip.
18. Thou shalt not giveth any false information when applying for membership to an ISP, for verily it is written that whosoever shall do so will surely be found out and thy welcome on all ISPs will be thus denied forever and ever.
19. Thou shalt log on properly and in accordance with the ISP's rules.
20. Thou shalt observe ISP time limits.
21. Thou shalt not upload "worm" programs.
22. Thou shalt not ask stupid questions that are already fully explained in the ISP instructions.
23. Thou shalt not exchange copy protected software thru the ISP.
24. Thou shalt not violate applicable state/federal/local laws and regulations affecting ISP telecommunications, or thy will feel the wrath of thy judicial system.
25. Thou shalt not hack.
