ALL ABOUT MEN
---> Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men
a woman
a woman
---> Men invented computers to drive women crazier!
---> Men know life too early, women too late.
---> Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
---> Men love sex with redheads, but their wives don't appreciate it!
---> Men wear the pants. Women wear the panties.
---> Men wear their hair 3 ways: parted, unparted & departed.
---> Men who know they are geniuses usually aren't.
---> Scientists say: Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
---> Men! Go figure!
---> Men! Learn from John Bobbitt.
Don't cheat on your girlfriend/wife!
Don't cheat on your girlfriend/wife!
---> Men! Learn from John Bobbitt.
Sleep on your stomachs!
Sleep on your stomachs!
---> Woman's best X-mas gift? To add ex- to man!
---> Men, Just children with paychecks.
---> How do you get a man on the roof?
Tell him the beers on the house.
Tell him the beers on the house.
---> When is a man worth 25 cents?
When he is pushing a trolley at K-mart.
When he is pushing a trolley at K-mart.
---> Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.
In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
---> If a man had a thought in his head, it would get lonely!
---> Do you always tell your husband when you've had an orgasm?
No way! I'm not going to call home every time!
No way! I'm not going to call home every time!
---> When does a man develop a brain?
The day he gets married.
The day he gets married.
---> Why is virginity like a balloon?
All it takes is one small prick and it's gone.
---> What does PMS really stand for?
- Promoting Male Slavery.
- Promoting Male Slavery.
---> How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
He eats beans for dinner.
---> What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
A half hour of begging.
---> How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
He's breathing.
---> What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
Bonds mature.
---> How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Take your foot off his head.
---> What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
They're both empty from the neck up.
---> How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
Who cares?
---> How many cute guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
If you're in the dark with a cute guy, why worry about the lights?!
If you're in the dark with a cute guy, why worry about the lights?!
---> Men are like department stores....
their clothes should always be half off.
their clothes should always be half off.
---> Men are like vacations....
they never seem to be long enough.
they never seem to be long enough.
---> Men are like computers...
hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
---> Men are like coolers...
load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
---> Men are like chocolate bars....
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
---> Men are like coffee....
the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all nightlong.
the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all nightlong.
---> Men are like horoscopes....
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
---> Women are looking for Mr. Right.
Men are looking for Mrs. Right Now.
Men are looking for Mrs. Right Now.
---> What do you call a smart man?
Unsighted.
Unsighted.
---> Why do men have orgasms?
So they will know when to stop having sex and fall asleep.
So they will know when to stop having sex and fall asleep.
