Carnation Milk

CARNATION MILK

This lady had been married to a farmer all her life. They had cows and horses on their farm and also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmer's market.

While shopping at the local grocery store for a few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves, she came across a contest form while she was in the store. It was from the Carnation Milk Company and the object was to complete a jingle in fifty words or less.

The Company furnished the first line of the jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all..." about those little cans of milk found on grocery store shelves.

So she completed her jingle and sent it off to the Carnation Milk Company. A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a man from Carnation Milk came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. However it was unfortunate the company could not publish it. In lieu of this fact, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award and provided her with a company check in the amount of $1000 for creativity.

Here is her entry:

"I like Carnation best of all...
No tits to pull, no shit to haul...
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch...
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch!"