HEADLINES FROM 2035
* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
* White minorities are still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.
* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.
* Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
* Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.
* Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
* Pervez Musharraf finally sheds off his uniform.
* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $7.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
* 35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
* Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
* Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
* Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%
