ON GETTIN OLD
* Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
* Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
* The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
* Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want to people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
* How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
* When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
* You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
* One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
* One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
* Ahh, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
* Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
* If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
* First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper, then... Oh, my goodness, you forgot to pull your zipper down!
* If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??
And best of all...
* I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
