SIGNS SHE'S GETTING BORED OF MAKING LOVE WITH YOU
* When you request sex, she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."
* Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.
* Actually answers when you ask, "Who's your daddy?"
* Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire.
* Only moans during commercial breaks.
* Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay.
* Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.
* Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.
* You find yourself sitting backstage at the Jerry Springer show.
* You begin to suspect she is only "playing" dead.
* Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a WAV file.
* Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.
* Keeps asking, "Are you SURE you're not gay?"
* Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you
along.
along.
* Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook more easily.
* She yells out her own name.
* Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.
