UNTOUCHED VIRGIN
A female aquaintence of mine had tired of playing the club/dating scene and after deciding to find some financially suitable and physically presentable gent to settle down with, that presented all the correct hair, skn and eye coloring, was the right height and weight and oder for her planned assault in producing offspring to cement, she thought, her future financial security. she was very surprised to find a candidate so quickly.
The one hang up to her plan was the victim was a product of a small southern bible college and being a bit naive, wanted a world class beauty, well educated, street wise, untouched virgin bride to marry.
Since she had thrown off all bounds of virginity way back in high school to seek out the hidden mysterious passions reputed to be associated with wild boys and sex she was about as far from being mistaken for a virgin as one could get.
But seeing she was determined to go forward with the pursuit of her goal, I suggested she visited a doc I knew to see about the possibility of reconstructing her hymen and hide or mask any hints of her previous sexual activities.
The doctor told her that it would cost around $500, but there was another quicker way that would cost only $50 and with the addition of some hysterical theatrics on her part, he thought she could no doubt accomplish the same ruse.
So my friend opted to try the cheap way, paid the money, and the doctor worked on her for several minutes and then informed her she was ready for launch or "hot to trot !"
After the wedding "first night", the woman came back to the doctor and told him that it was perfect. The pain, the blood, the screams, everything was there.
Then she asked him how he did it.
He looked at her, smiled devilishly and said, "I tied your pubic hair together."
