24 Rhymes

MANDEL

There was a young lady named Mandel
Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal
By coming out bare
On the main village square
And massaging herself with a candle
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HOBOKEN GIRL

There once was a girl from Hoboken,
who claimed her cherry was broken,
from riding a bike
on a cobblestone pike,
but it really got broken from pokin'.
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ROMANCE

On the internet they found romance,
That put both in a hot sexual trance,
But each had a gripe,
About having to type,
With a hand stuck down into their pants.
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BOMBAY MAN

Their once was a man from Bombay,
Who used to eat beans everyday.
He farted so loud,
That he drew a crowd.
But the smell made them all run away.
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A WOMAN

Said a woman with open delight,
"My pubic hair's perfectly white.
I admit there's a glare,
But the fellows don't care.
They locate it more quickly at night." A
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SOLDIER'S WIFE

A soldier's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Tim Harrison.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed
She just wanted to make a comparison

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YOUNG BRIDE

A young bride was once heard to say,
"Oh dear, I am wearing away!
The inside of my thighs
Look just like mince pies,
For my husband won't shave every day
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BISHOP OF LOWER BOGHAT

The Bishop of Lower Boghat
Had an ass exceedingly fat.
It had to be parted
Whenever he farted
And propped wide apart when he shat.

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VIBRATOR'S BATTERY

My vibrator's battery's dying!
My husband's not here and I'm crying
To generate the watts
I need for my twat
A generator is what we'll be buying!
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PAUL

There was a fellow named Paul
Who confessed, I have only one ball
But the size of my prick
Is God's dirtiest trick
For my girls always ask, Is that all

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SNOW

When a corpulent spinster named Snow
Was approached by a dwarf for a blow,
She replied, "I have pride!
Your request is denied!
I could never, sir, stoop quite that low!
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CALCUTTA MAN

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who took a sly peep through a shutter.
But all he could see
was his wife's twitching knee
And the arse of the man that was up her.

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FEENEY

There once was a gay man named Feeney
Who liked to pour gin on his weenie,
In a moment uncouth,
He poured on vermouth
And slipped his friend a martini

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RANGOON PANSY

A pansy who lived in Rangoon
a lesbian asked up to his room.
They argued all night
on who had the right
to do what, with which and to whom!

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LITTLE BOY BLUE

Where is Little Boy Blue this fine morn?
In the haystack as sure as you're born,
But he isn't asleep; He's with Little Bo-Peep;
And look where he's putting his horn.

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MCSWEENEY

There once was a fellow named McSweeney,
Who spilled some gin on his weenie,
Now just to be couth, He added vermouth,
And slipped his girl a martini.
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DALE

There was an old sailor named Dale
Whose dick was as big as a whale.
Though he fell off his boat
His dick made him float
And blew him around like a sail.!
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HOLLIS

A hillbilly farmer named Hollis,
With possums and snakes sought his solace,
His children had scales,
And prehensile tails,
And voted for Governor Wallace.

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DUCHESS OF LEE

While dining with the Duchess of Lee
she asked me; Do you fart when you pee?
I replied with some wit
do you belch when you shit?
And felt it was one up to me.
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BERLIN GIRL

There was a young girl from Berlin
Who was born so uncommonly thin
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in.

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GIRL

A girl who weighed many an oz.
Used language I dare not pronoz.
For a fellow unkind
Pulled her chair out behind,
Just to see, so he said, if she'd boz.
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YOUNG GIRL

There was a young girl in the choir
Whose voice rose hoir and hoir
Till it reached such a height
It was clear out of seight,
And they found it next day on the spoir.
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WRIGHT

A right-handed fellow named Wright,
In writing "write", always wrote "rite"
Where he meant to write right.
If he'd written "write" right
Wright would not have wrought rot writing "rite".

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FISHER

There was a young fellow named Fisher
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure,
When a cod, with a grin,
Pulled the fisherman in ...
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

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