DRUNK GUY
"Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked the thoroughly sizzled gentleman.
"Shertainly," said the drunk, "an' if you'll jesh open the door f'me, I'll prove it to you."
"You shee that piano?" the drunk began. "Thash mine. You shee that TV? Thash mine, too. Follow me, follow me.
The police officer followed as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor...
The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. "Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee that bed? Thash my bed. Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. And shee that guy shagging her?"
"Yeah," said the cop suspiciously.
"Thash me!" exclaimed the drunk.
