EXCERPTS
Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers:
---> Illiterate? Write today for free help.
---> Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
---> Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
---> Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
---> Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
---> Stock up and save. Limit: one.
---> Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.
---> Year old teacher needed for pre-school.Experience preferred.
---> Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
---> Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion.
---> Blue Cross and salary.
---> Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
---> For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
---> Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
---> We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
---> For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
---> Great Dames for sale.
---> Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
---> Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.
---> Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
---> Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
---> For Rent: room hated apartment.
---> Man, honest. Will take anything.
---> Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
---> Christmas taxable.
---> Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
---> Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
---> Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
---> Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
---> Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
---> And now, the Superstore unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
