EXCERPTS
Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers:
* Illiterate? Write today for free help.
* Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
* Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
* Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
* Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
* Stock up and save. Limit: one.
* Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale.
* Year old teacher needed for pre-school.Experience preferred.
* Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
* Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion.
* Blue Cross and salary.
* Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
* For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
* Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
* We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
* For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
* Great Dames for sale.
* Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
* Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.
* Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
* Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
* For Rent: room hated apartment.
* Man, honest. Will take anything.
* Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
* Christmas taxable.
* Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
* Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
* Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
* Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
* Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
* And now, the Superstore unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
