HE'S SOOOOO MEAN....
* If you kicked him in the heart, you'd break your toe.
* He'd steal a dead fly from a blind spider.
* He's deaf, and never told his barber.
* You couldn't warm up to him if you were cremated together.
* He sends get-well cards to hypochondriacs.
* He'd cry over your wounds so he could get salt in them.
* He has as much use for anyone living as an undertaker.
* He applied for a job as a prison warden so he could put tacks in the electric chair.
* He folds his newspaper so the guy next to him on the bus can only read half the headline.
* He has a testimonial plaque from Kenneth Starr.
* He takes sparrows, dips them in peroxide, and sells them as canaries.
* He'd throw a drowning man both ends of the rope.
* He knifes you in the back, and then has you arrested for carrying a weapon.
* He campaigned for a dry county, got it passed, and then moved away.
* He never hits a man when he's down--he kicks him.
* He never eats his heart out; he'd starve to death.
* He'd borrow your pot just to cook your goose.
* Only gravediggers would enjoy working for him..
