MURPHY'S LAW OF LAW ENFORCEMENT
---> Bullet proof vests, aren't.
---> The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They also punch, kick and choke harder too.
---> The speed at which you respond to a call is inversely proportional to how long you've been a cop.
---> Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face.
---> High speed chases will always proceed from an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.
---> If you know someone who tortures animals and wets the bed, he is either a serial killer or he works for Internal Affairs.
---> Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp.
---> Flash hiders don't really.
---> If you have cleared all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house.
---> If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops more often than he will hit the bad guy he swings at.
---> Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons (kitchen).
---> If you have just punched out a handcuffed prisoner for spitting at you, you are about to become a star on Eyewitness News.
---> Bullets work on veteran cops too. They also work on weight lifters, martial arts experts, department marksmen, Vice cops, S.W.A.T. jocks, and others who consider themselves immortal.
---> When a civilian sees a blue light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop needs to use.
---> If you drive your patrol car to the geometric centre of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes a civilian will pull along side of you and ask for directions.
---> You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don't need a cop, and you can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do.
---> Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol.
---> From behind you, the bad guys can see your night sights as well as you can.
---> On any call, there will always be more bad guys than there are good guys, and the farther away your back-up, the more there will be.
---> The longer you've been a cop, the shorter you flash-light and your temper gets.
---> Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance it will get you killed, you probably shouldn't do it.
---> You should never do a shotgun search of a dark ware-house with a cop whose nickname is "Boomer".
---> The better you do your job, the more likely you are about to be shot, injured, complained on, sued, I investigated, or subpoenaed on your day-off.
---> If a large group of drunk bikers are "holed-up" in a house, the Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is one biker "holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire S.W.A.T. Team.
---> And no matter how many times a gun has been cleared and declared empty, there is always one more round.
