SIGNS YOU WATCH TOO MUCH FOOTBALL
10. Before sex, you flip a coin to see who will receive
9. You've been banned from the A&P for spiking melons
8. To feel closer to some of your favorite players, you tear the cartilage in your knee
7. The kids bring home a good report card and you dump Gatorade on 'em
6. Most humans: 75% water, you: 75% chip dip
5. During sex, you use a play clock
4. You pay $22 million to have Deion Sanders shovel off your driveway
3. For the last two months, you've been wearing nothing but a cup
2. You fell in love with your wife because she looks like John Madden
1. After sex, you go for the 2-point conversion.
