TELL - TALE SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE THE PERFECT PARENT
* You keep confusing Similac with Sambuca.
* You're lobbying hard to get all three toddlers on the upcoming "Survivor: Africa."
* Instead of spit and a handkerchief, you clean your kids' faces with turpentine and sandpaper -- because that's the way *your* father did it.
* You suspect your son may not be getting the Ayatollah's full recommended daily allowance of floggings.
* All of Bobby's teenaged friends hang at your place -- because you roll the best.
* "Okay, okay! You can stay up to watch South Park. Now be a good girl and give Daddy back his Smith & Wesson."
* Rather than spend money on expensive lessons, you teach little Suzy how to tap dance the old fashioned way... with a loaded revolver. .
