TONGUE TIED MAN
A guy with a speech impediment goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen in his life. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns to the merchandise and asks, "Ess-tues me ser?"
"Yes, sir," replied the clerk.
"Tould you tale me how mutsh yur Pisstasheos arr?"
"Pistachios? They're six dollars a pound."
"SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks, "Welp, how mutsh arr yur aahhmons?"
"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound."
"SSIT!" Replied the tongue-tied man, "Welp, how bout yur pikanns?"
"Pecans? They're on sale today...they're only four fifty a pound."
"Welp...SSit...just div me a pownd of dose dhen."
"Alrighty then," says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans.
Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Sirr, I just wana tay tank you fo not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it."
The clerk replies with a smile, "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that... I don't make fun of anybody, for anything! I don't know if you noticed or not, but I have a rather large nose."
The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat yur noze? I tought dat wuz yur dick, yur nutz arr so damn high!"
