TOP TEN MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO LOSE A GUY!
11. Gain a hundred pounds, then develop a taste for heroin.
10. Whenever he tells you he loves you, mutter a few nonesense words under your breath. When he asks what you said, tell him you didn't say anything, and that he must be going insane.
9. Three words: "Cats! Cats! Cats!"
8. "Accidentally" erase the hard-drive where he's been storing images, stories and movie files related to his deepest, darkest, sexual fetish, which he erroneously believes he's managed to keep secret from you. As he sqirms on the hook, keep asking him: "What's wrong, honey?" Don't give any clue you knew what was on the drive. When he finally blows up at you, accuse him of being a filthy, degenerate pervert and threaten to expose him to his friends, his family, and the proper authorities.
7. Perform your womanly housekeeping duties as though you resent having to do them.
6. Repeatedly and mercilessly beat him at his favorite boardgames and/or videogames.
5. Crazyglue the toilet seat down.
4. Reassure him that "size doesn't matter," then run out of the room, giggling uncontrollably.
3. Take a shit in his toolbox.
2. Get yourself caught in the act of sucking his father's cock.
1. Force him to take you to go see How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
