THE WAY IT USED TO BE!
* I used to have Saturday Night Fever... Now I just have Saturday Night hot flashes.
* Ever get the feeling your stuff strutted off without you?
* Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old... as long as she buys him a few drinks first.
* My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
* Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
* I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
* I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
* It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
* I think I've reached my sexpiration date.
* People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life! Provided we get cable or that dish thing.
* The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.
* These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
* I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for people my age.. But they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."
* Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
* Don't let aging get you down...It's too hard to get back up!
