WHY I'M LEAVING
* I shaved her back, would it have killed her to shave mine?
* She showed great intelligence in embracing the sensible, non-cult philosophy of Scientology, but insisted on hogging the pyramid hat.
* Even at the best of times, ongoing argument of who had bigger teeth never far from the surface.
* When I wanted to talk, she had to read L. Ron Hubbard; when I wanted to have sex, she had an L. Ron Headache.
* When I wanted to talk, she had to read L. Ron Hubbard; when I wanted to have sex, she had an L. Ron Headache.
* Balked at making sequel to Far and Away, to be called Farther and Awayer.
* You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't make her grow a penis.
* Refused to believe I did all my own stunts in Risky Business.
* Let just put it this way - Florida isn't the only place that's had a problem with a dimpled Chad. On the plus side, Nicole had no problem occasionally dressing up like a cheerleader in the bedroom; on the minus, refused to let me do the same.
* I know it sounds strange, but one of her nipples looks just like a taunting Brad Pitt.
