YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MICHIGAN IF:
---> You've never met any celebrities.
---> Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
---> "Vacation" means driving through Sault Ste. Marie or going to Brimley.
---> You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
---> You measure distance in minutes.
---> Down south to you means Indiana.
---> You know several people who have hit a deer.
---> Your school classes were cancelled because of cold
---> Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
---> You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
---> You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
---> You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
---> You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
---> Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
---> You see people wear bib overalls at funerals. Maybe even you.
---> You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
---> You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
---> All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
---> You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
---> You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, soda, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
---> You carry jumper cables in your car.
---> You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.
---> You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
---> You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
---> Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
---> You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
---> You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
---> You think that deer season is a national holiday.
---> You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
---> You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".
---> You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
---> Schools close for the state basketball tournament. Deer season, too.
---> You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
---> "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
---> You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.
---> You know what pop is.
---> The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
