You Know You Have A Bad Computer When

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A BAD COMPUTER WHEN:
10. Lower corner of screen has the words "etch a sketch" on it.
9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes
8. You have to pedal it
7. The manual contains one sentence: "good luck!"
6. Only chip inside is a dorito
5. When you turn it on, the dogs in the neighborhood start howling
4. You catch a virus from it
3. Screen frequently freezes and message comes up: "Ain't it break time, Chester?"
2. While running, it emits deafening calliope music
1. It cyber-snickers at you"