You're A Teacher If...

YOU'RE A TEACHER IF...
* You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
* You find humor in other people's stupidity.
* You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
* You believe chocolate is a food group.
* You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
* You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
* You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
* When out in public you feel the urge
to snap your fingers at children you do not know to correct their behavior.
* You have no life between August to June.
* When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
* You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
* You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
* You believe in aerial Prozac spraying.
* You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
* You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "Never DREAM" of doing your job.
* You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
* You know you are in for a
major project when a parent says "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
* You want to choke a person when they say "Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you."
* Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"