Church Football

CHURCH FOOTBALL - THE OTHER SUNDAY SPORT:

--QUARTERBACK SNEAK:
Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

--DRAW PLAY:
What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

--HALF-TIME:
The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

--BENCH WARMER:
Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

--BACKFIELD IN MOTION:
Making a trip to the back (rest room or water fountain) during the service.

--STAYING IN THE POCKET:
What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

--TWO MINUTE WARNING:
The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

--INSTANT REPLAY:

The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

--SUDDEN DEATH:
What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".

--TRAP:
You're called on to pray and are asleep.

--END RUN:
Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

--FLEX DEFENSE:
The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

--HALFBACK OPTION:
The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

--BLITZ:
The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer..