Do You Know English

DO YOU KNOW ENGLISH

Do you think you know English? Can you decipher this one i.e. in simple English what does this translate to?

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geological protuberance, the purpose of their expidition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.

One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.