Playing With Words

| Friday, December 4, 2009

PLAYING WITH WORDS


1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.


2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).


3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


4. A backwards poet writes inverse.


5. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.


6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.


7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


8. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.


9. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.


11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.


12. The man, who fell into an upholstery machine, is fully recovered.


13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.


16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


17. Every calendar's days are numbered.


18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.


19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.


20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.


21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.


22. The short fortune-teller, who escaped from prison, was a small medium at large.


23. Those, who get too big for their britches, will be exposed in the end.


24. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.


25. Those, who jump off a Paris bridge, are in Seine.


26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.


27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.


28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.


29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.


30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

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